Question by Brittney: Drug addiction and the pain inflicted on my family?
i come from a very well rounded “normal” loving family that has given me everything i could ever ask for.
i love them. i would never want to do a thing to hurt them.
in fact all my life i let my sisters and brothers get what they want, i never complained, i truly don’t care about myself i just want everyone else to be happy.
so this is why my 9 month addiction to meth has left my family and myself so hurt by each other
im 21 but i still live at home with my little brother and parents.
they can’t fathom how i could possibly ever do meth again, want to do it again, or even look at it again after the way i’ve seen it hurt them.
and in turn i feel like they’re KILLING me by saying that.
i don’t know why, i have no idea why, but seeing them cry.. yeah i feel horrible, yeah it’s EXTREMELY hard to watch… and yes i will go out that very day and do more meth.
to me the best comparison i can come up with is telling someone to stop eating anything that tastes good… only lettuce..
if they don’t eat just lettuce then they must not love you…
i bet you that person would crack and eat something tastier within days.. regardless of how much they love you.
but still that comparison doesn’t feel quite right and i do feel like i should stop what i’m doing FOR my family. i should want them to be happy more than myself just like i do with everything else so i should be able to stop.. so why can’t i?? 🙁
and how can i make them see that i DO love them.. more than anything in this world..???    Read more...